we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
