I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
