Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
