I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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