Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
