I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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