Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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