i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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