DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
