Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
