i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
two words...techno handjob
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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