normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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