Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
