sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
