But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
