Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
