I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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