the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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