i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
