My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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