): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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