I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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