I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
