I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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