Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
