I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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