i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
