I want to have your abortion
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
