i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
