This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
