please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
