; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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