My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
