I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
