went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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