Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
