I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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