Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
