Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
