Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize