Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
