the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
and you fell through a lawn chair
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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