I think I just saw someone hide a body.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize