And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
