Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
