Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
