So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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