OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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