oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
