Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
