You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
its liver damage thursday
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
