obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
