Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You can't special order awesome
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
