The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize