There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
