I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
