we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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