Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
