This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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