god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
