i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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