how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
