i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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