True but thats because hes a fetus.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize