Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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