i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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