thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
