OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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